I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
