omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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