I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
