I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
