Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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