Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
