I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
