She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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