Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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