Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
