once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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