So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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