i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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