it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
