Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
