For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ugly people sure do ruin things
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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