i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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