maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
