Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
