nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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