dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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