thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
