Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
