There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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