I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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