okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
as a side note pls kill me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize