12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
