I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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