Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
