Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
