Sry I called you an 8
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
