You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
