just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Less talking, more tequila
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
