then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
