The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
