can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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