You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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