ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
