Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
