we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
