It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
