Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
