Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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