it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
