if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
