dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
