He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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