My liver just broke up with me...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
did i walk over a car last night?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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