I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
