"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
